Sunday, July 22, 2012

Turkey Basters & Boy Juice


The Turkey Baster Method.  My wife hates that phrase, but that is what everybody thinks of (and says) when lesbians talk about having a baby.   In truth, I personally would not want a turkey baster shoved up my hoohah.  So, we’ll use a medical syringe.  That’s more my speed, especially with all my vagina issues.  There is another method that is highly recommended because you don’t have to lie with your hips in the air so the boy juice (thanks to a good friend of ours for that phrase that we love!) doesn’t all leak out – but this method is not something I think I would be able to do.  The picture below shows one example of the apparatus you must use in this method. 
I will not be using the Diva Cup or anything of that nature.  Imagine a little cup full of baby batter (as my wife likes to call it) that you have to maneuver up your hoohah to snuggle it up against your cervix. Easy peasy, right?  Sure.  Let’s say I did in fact manage to maneuver it up my hoohah with no problems, I can just imagine me being the one person in the world with an abnormally large cervix opening and I lose that damn thing somewhere up my body and I have to have emergency surgery to get the damn thing out.  My wife keeps telling me that just cannot happen, but YOU NEVER KNOW!  :oD      
      
So no, we will not be using the ‘cup’ of boy juice.  We will be using a medical syringe that we’ll suck the boy juice up with and then plunge it into my happy place hoping one of our donor’s little swimmers makes it to my egg.   Take 1 syringe of baby batter, add one egg and cook for 40 weeks.