Eating, Pooping, Crying, Sleeping

A baby.  An eating, pooping, crying, sleeping baby.  Are we ready for this?  Is anyone ever really ready for a baby?  We are as ready as we’ll ever be.  Every time we are around the baby of a friend of ours, we get that fever once more and know that when it happens, our lives will be changed forever for the good.  

Why do I think we're ready?  Because a baby is more than an eating, pooping, sleeping, crying being.  It’s a cuddly, cooing, loving, smiling, giggling being that brings more joy into your life than you ever thought possible.  

Are we ready for this?  You bet your ass we are.  BRING IT ON.  Oh, but we either need to sell our house and buy a bigger one or have the money to add on.  Just FYI to whatever gods are reading my blog. 

Turkey Basters & Boy Juice

The Turkey Baster Method.  My wife hates that phrase, but that is what everybody thinks of (and says) when lesbians talk about having a baby.   In truth, I personally would not want a turkey baster shoved up my hoohah.  So, we’ll use a medical syringe.  That’s more my speed, especially with all my vagina issues.  There is another method that is highly recommended because you don’t have to lie with your hips in the air so the boy juice (thanks to a good friend of ours for that phrase that we love!) doesn’t all leak out – but this method is not something I think I would be able to do.  The picture below shows one example of the apparatus you must use in this method. 

I will not be using the Diva Cup or anything of that nature.  Imagine a little cup full of baby batter (as my wife likes to call it) that you have to maneuver up your hoohah to snuggle it up against your cervix. Easy peasy, right?  Sure.  Let’s say I did in fact manage to maneuver it up my hoohah with no problems, I can just imagine me being the one person in the world with an abnormally large cervix opening and I lose that damn thing somewhere up my body and I have to have emergency surgery to get the damn thing out.  My wife keeps telling me that just cannot happen, but YOU NEVER KNOW!  :oD      

      

So no, we will not be using the ‘cup’ of boy juice.  We will be using a medical syringe that we’ll suck the boy juice up with and then plunge it into my happy place hoping one of our donor’s little swimmers makes it to my egg.   Take 1 syringe of baby batter, add one egg and cook for 40 weeks.  

Baby Daddy

Baby Daddy.   Sperm Donor.  A means to an end.  Trying to get pregnant is going to be interesting.  We had our first ‘interview’ with a potential sperm donor last night.  Needless to say, we are meeting with our lawyer next week to educate ourselves on this process.  There are so many things we have to do in order to protect ourselves that we were a little out of our league when we met with him and had some concerns come up.  So, we will educate ourselves and meet back up with him in a couple of weeks after we all have taken some time to think about things.  Maybe he is the one, maybe he isn’t. 

In other news, at least my vagina is ready.  I am still doing my maintenance with my dilator every couple of weeks or so to keep my muscles used to insertion.  I am not sure any of that will prepare my vagina for pushing a baby out of it, but I guess it will help.  I don't think they make a dilator that big to prepare for that. 

Stay tuned for more baby daddy updates. :)

The In Between

I am now about 6 weeks post physical therapy for vaginismus.   Today I used a tampon and this time I had the damn thing in right!  I’m slowly getting used to them! 

So what is next for us?  Well, first we are heading on vacation in August.  Yes, that is a whole 4 months away, but because I only get 1 week a year of vacation they are kind of a big deal in our house.   We are driving to Yellowstone this year and hopefully we both come back alive.   I previously stated in a blog that we don’t work well together and honestly, we don’t do well on long car rides together either.  It was my idea to drive, because I have never really gotten to see much of the U.S.  28 hours in the car (each way).  56 total hours of Dawn singing every word to every song that plays through the car stereo, either by iPod or radio.   If I am not tempted to jump off a cliff in Yellowstone, I might just ask Dawn to leave me there to walk home.  Then again, she might be inclined to push me off a cliff after 28 hours in the car with me. 

Let’s assume we both make it back from Yellowstone alive.  Then what?  Well, September’s ovulation time will bring us to inseminating.  Right now we are looking at donor options and trying to figure out the best choice for us.  Do we travel to Canada as much as we can for our top pick donor?  Do we pick someone closer to home so that we don’t have to actually take off work to meet with a donor?  Decisions decisions.   It’s not like we can just stop the birth control and have a bunch of sex and hopefully get pregnant.  We have to plan this really hard. 

I’m trying to stay positive about our quest to get pregnant, but honestly, it’s tough to keep a positive mindset.  For us, things have to be timed so specifically that I worry we’ll miss it each month and not have success.  But I also know that things happen for a reason and if it’s meant to be, it will happen.  Hard to digest that it might NOT be meant to be for me to get pregnant, but that’s not up to me.