Sunday, March 18, 2012

Feet in the stirrups, please

I am alive.  I have survived.  I know, you are glad, aren’t you?

I had my first pelvic exam in many years with NO PAIN!!!  My last exam was probably 8 or 9 years ago and I was crying on the table while the doctor tried the exam (she even tried numbing gel, however I couldn't even handle her touching me downthere).  After recently overcoming vaginimus, I was still a little nervous about this exam on Friday.    Dr. R is a really amazing doctor (in spite of the bow ties) so I felt ok going to him.  He must have been delivering babies the night before or doing surgery that morning.  He was wearing scrubs with his doctor’s coat over them, no socks and black dress shoes.   He came in and asked me how I was.  My reply, “I’m here”.   He put his hand on my shoulder and told me it would all be ok.   I told him that I had done 6 weeks of physical therapy and our conversation went a little like this:

Angie: “I did really well in physical therapy; I was able to overcome my vaginismus in 6 weeks.”
Dr. R: “That’s great, how did you like physical therapy?”
Angie: “I loved it! Wait, that sounds a little weird.  It wasn’t as horrible as I thought it would be.”
Dr. R: “Well! I get an ‘I’m here’ response about you seeing me, but you LOVED physical therapy.  Way to give a guy a complex.”

This exchange made me laugh, and I felt even more comfortable with him.  If you can make me laugh, my nerves get a lot calmer.   He got me into position (feet in stirrups, ass nearly hanging off the table) and then pushed a button on his phone.  A minute later his nurse comes in and asks him what he needs.  He just needed her in there with him.  This is a little odd, considering he normally doesn’t have his nurse in the room when he sees Dawn, but I think he was just making sure he had a bodyguard in case it hurt and I kicked him.   Dawn sat up by my head holding my hand during the exam (awwww).  Everything went FINE!!!  He used a smaller speculum and went slow with everything he did, letting me know what he was going to do before he did it.  This is key in vaginismus recovery.  I am in charge of everything that happens to my body.  If I needed him to stop, I just tell him to stop.  And I was 100% sure that he would stop if I asked him to. 

Once he was done, he gave me his hand to help me sit up and bowed, saying “you are my hero”.  He was proud of me! 

I told ya me and my vagina are awesome  :)

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