I am now about 6 weeks post physical therapy for vaginismus. Today I used a tampon and this time I had the damn thing in right! I’m slowly getting used to them!
So what is next for us? Well, first we are heading on vacation in August. Yes, that is a whole 4 months away, but because I only get 1 week a year of vacation they are kind of a big deal in our house. We are driving to Yellowstone this year and hopefully we both come back alive. I previously stated in a blog that we don’t work well together and honestly, we don’t do well on long car rides together either. It was my idea to drive, because I have never really gotten to see much of the U.S. 28 hours in the car (each way). 56 total hours of Dawn singing every word to every song that plays through the car stereo, either by iPod or radio. If I am not tempted to jump off a cliff in Yellowstone, I might just ask Dawn to leave me there to walk home. Then again, she might be inclined to push me off a cliff after 28 hours in the car with me.
Let’s assume we both make it back from Yellowstone alive. Then what? Well, September’s ovulation time will bring us to inseminating. Right now we are looking at donor options and trying to figure out the best choice for us. Do we travel to Canada as much as we can for our top pick donor? Do we pick someone closer to home so that we don’t have to actually take off work to meet with a donor? Decisions decisions. It’s not like we can just stop the birth control and have a bunch of sex and hopefully get pregnant. We have to plan this really hard.
I’m trying to stay positive about our quest to get pregnant, but honestly, it’s tough to keep a positive mindset. For us, things have to be timed so specifically that I worry we’ll miss it each month and not have success. But I also know that things happen for a reason and if it’s meant to be, it will happen. Hard to digest that it might NOT be meant to be for me to get pregnant, but that’s not up to me.