Thursday, February 9, 2012

Boycotting Mondays

My 2nd PT appointment was on a Monday morning at 9am.  Know what I learned pretty quickly?  Not to ever schedule another appointment on a Monday.  I did not sleep at all the night before and my anxiety level was at an all-time high that morning.  Guess what my PT told us that morning – Mondays are the worst day for anxiety and more heart attacks happen on Mondays than any other day of the week.  So yeah, no more Monday appointments for me.
My homework hadn't been going well and I explained that to my PT.  She assured me that what I was going through was very normal.  So forget the 10 reps and just do what I can in 10 minutes.  That made me feel a whole lot better about failing at my homework. lol

This second session went as well as the first one.  We moved up to the next size dilator after working for a little while with the X small.  So now I’m on the X Sm+!  More breathing through the pressure of insertion and I haven’t experienced any pain which is good.    I will tell you one thing that is difficult – not shooting a dilator out my vagina because I’m laughing during my session.  Dawn and my PT are both really funny (I have my moments too when I’m not worrying about having a dilator in my vagina) so there are times that I am laughing pretty hard, but also trying to concentrate on what I’m doing!

One thing I want to point out is my case is mild compared to what many women experience.  I recently read on a forum about many women who have never been able to consummate their marriages because of intense pain during sex.   I have heard of women who went to PT for several weeks before they could even handle the PT touching the opening of their vagina with a gloved finger.  There are so many varying degrees of vaginismus!   Unfortunately, many women are too embarrassed to talk to their doctor about this and they go undiagnosed and without help.  I wish I could do more to get women the help they deserve.   If I were younger, I would consider becoming a Physical Therapist and specialize in this area.  But being almost 36 and wanting to try for a baby this year – it’s not feasible.  So I blog, and I hope that my blog reaches at least one woman who is struggling with this and she can get help. 


  1. Hi, Angie! My name is Rachel and I'm 26 years old. Thanks for sharing your journey with us. :)

    I'm one of those women you mentioned who has one of the more severe cases of vaginismus. I have only been in one relationship (which lasted 5 years), and during that time, we were never able to have penetrative sex. It was a huge stressor on both of us, and unfortunately, he wasn't very supportive at all.

    2 years ago, I started seeing a therapist at the Center for Sexual Health in Minneapolis to deal with the anxiety, depression, fear and shame surrounding my pelvic pain. I also joined a women's sexual health group that met weekly and later started seeing a PT specializing in pelvic floor disorders—not too different from your program. I'm still doing all these things, but I've made awesome progress! I can now use tampons (albeit tentatively), I'm tackling D3, and only recently was able to complete a full pelvic exam with my OB/GYN! The light at the end of the tunnel is almost visible from here.

    I'm so happy to hear that you found such a great PT and built up what sounds like a solid support system for yourself. That can make all the difference! And Dawn especially—she sounds like she was so supportive and wonderful through all of this. What's more, YOU sound like your greatest advocate, and that is so important. I can tell that you're a very strong lady. :)

    1. You sound like you are on the right track to overcoming this... GO YOU!!! Thanks for leaving me a comment, I really hope to reach women through my blog so they can get the help they deserve!